I had a day this week where I felt like a car going 100mph. A car with un-responsive steering and defective brakes. A car that unless handled carefully would crash at any moment.
- I’m transitioning into a new job; having to learn new processes and working with a new team.
- I had lists, but they were disjointed and some hadn’t made it out my head and on to paper, so my head was spinning.
- I kept gaining stuff to do which wasn’t on any of my list and they needed my immediate attention.
- I’ve worked waaay more hours than I normally do in a week, meaning my me-time has suffered.
- Wednesday night I only managed three hours sleep.
- Good ol’ self doubt was creeping in, telling me I’d bitten off more than I could chew and that I wasn’t coping.
So what happened? Someone basically shook me (metaohorically speaking!) and woke me up. They forced me to take time out away from my desk to do what I needed to do to get control back. I plugged myself into my headphones, took a blank A4 sheet and transferred everything in my head onto the paper. There was no neatness, order or logic. I wrote fast which showed me how stressed I was – I just had to get it all out. After I’d downloaded, I felt slightly more in control. I re-read my list and grouped items in terms of priority.
Final thought: What I’ve learned is that I need to keep more of an eye on myself. Instead of applying my ‘head down and keep going’ technique, I need to force myself to take time out as soon as I start to feel like I’m veering off course. Easier said than done, this is going to take a lot of practice! It’s also useful to have at least one person around who knows you well enough to see you are about to start to lose control of yourself and help you put the brakes on. I’m off to find myself one of these people!